[e_baer]

Originally Posted by jimw369

I have 2 girls. They love me and I love them. They are both in their 20s and in major universities. Want to come home and spend time with dad. We go shopping together, football games together, work on the tanks together, as well as a host of other things.
I spanked often and hard. I never gave them choices for there punishment and I never counted to 3. I used wooden spoons, belts, wood trim and yes my hand also.
Some would consider it beating. My wife did at times. However, my kids never (well, once) looked at their mother or myself and said no for any reason, never said we were stupid, was never disrespectful to elders, sat at the table and ate what was put on their plate, never bit other kids, never got anything but good reports from teachers. On top of that My kids were limited to the TV, never had a video game but were told to go outside and find something to do. I constantly reminded them while they were growing up I was NOT there best friend I was there parent first.
It worked for us and my daughters would tell you today with out hesitation, there was never a minute in there lives they didnt know I loved them and there mother with all my heart. Punishment was never given in an angry spirit but with love as a responsibility I had to do. Something hard for our society to understand today.

Today that relationship has changed from parent to mentor/counselor and I can see in the future it will be as friends and after that I will be the child and they will be the parent telling me what I need to do.

I have no advice, not that anyone is asking, times have changed. Moms and Dads have to work a full time jobs, and kids have game boy to fill the void. We have left the raising of our kids to the schools and churches and we wonder why the family as a unit is breaking down.

I do not know what my kids are going to do with there children. It weighs heavy on my mind sometimes.

wow....that almost brought a tear to my eye, and not in a bad way.

That is how i was raised and EXACTLY how i feel as well!
my parents at times were harsh, but it was needed. I cant look back and say they were doing it out of anger, because it was ALWAYS out of love (at least the times i remember lol)

i mean...im speechless. that is exactly how i feel, thats all i can say.

[rlcline76]

Jim....I don't know what the heck I am going to do with my kids and it weighs heavy on my mind way too often. My mother says that none of us kids ever threw that many fits. I am slowly getting things to calm down around here. Things like adding a new kid to the mix and a deployment here and there has not helped. My kid is a lot better than the rest of the youth in my family and I would like to keep it that way.

[jimw369]

I hope all you guys dont think I was being critical. (Becky) I said what I did worked for me. I have no "in stone" answers. I was fortunate enough to be able to have my wife home the first 6 years of our marriage and I think that really helped with my kids. She is the administrator of a small elementary school so I doubt anyone could tell me something that would shock me about these young kids nowdays.
Some other factors that might have made a difference: My family came first. I gave up a lot of fishing and hunting trips to spend time with my kids. When they were old enough (4-5 years old) they went with me. I helped drive and sell God only knows how many Girl scout cookies. Both my girls got their Super cookie badges. I built Tree forts, showed them how to build a dam in the creek, helped build the snowman, always went sled riding with them, and I always wanted them to go fishing with me and to this day at 21 years of age the one helps with the tank and has a cube of her own. We are still doing things together.
I also think how a husband and wife love and respect each other shows through the kids.

Becky, I know people cannot help being deployed and circumstances are less than perfect and cannot be helped. I think of these types of situations those in the service face as much as husbands and fathers on the battlefield. Because of families like yours and others I am allowed to seek my fortune in this great country and raise my family as I see fit. I am ashamed sometimes not offer any more than a sincere thankyou.

[thelastmucci]

wow...I'm truly speechless....
I don't know if when Becky blinked her eyes at me she was being sarcastic or what.....
But Jim, man I have a ton of respect for you as father and as a fish expert. This post amazed me in ways I didn't think was still possible to feel about family's but you hit the nail on the head...good for you.

[e_baer]

great minds think alike!

[rlcline76]

Originally Posted by thelastmucci

wow...I'm truly speechless....
I don't know if when Becky blinked her eyes at me she was being sarcastic or what.....
But Jim, man I have a ton of respect for you as father and as a fish expert. This post amazed me in ways I didn't think was still possible to feel about family's but you hit the nail on the head...good for you.

You'll figure it out sooner or later that 99.999% of the time I am being sarcastic. It's in my blood.

[rlcline76]

You know, I am sitting here thinking that this child swatting thing is even more controversial than the war! I might have to bow out of this one and go moderate pogodzib's 220 gallon build thread. lol

[jimw369]

Well, I certainly will not argue with some one how to raise their child. Once again I can only say what worked for me.

I am thankful for my parents that never sheltered me or gave in to my whims as a child. If was spanked by my mother in the morning I would get it again in the eve when my father came home. He never felt my mother did a good enough job.

My parents never stuck up for me. I can remember getting punched on the bus by a bully much bigger than I (for no reason) and when I went crying to mom her response was I probably deserved it. Oh my mom! After getting shocked playing with a plugged in extension cord, I can still hear her voice, " serves you right Ill bet you will know better next time". I had to apologize and mow Mrs Statz yard all summer one year. She was my bus driver. I accidentally hit her in the head with a snowball. lol Painful experiences then but Oh so greatful for now.

Corporal punishment...I dont know anymore?

My parents are now both at 80 years of age and I havent seen them for 6 mos. I think I will give them a call now.